• Grinder
• Gonzo
• (Godhood)

Last week I had the pleasure of attending a media screening of the much-awaited Finnish(-German-Australian) genre movie IRON SKY.

Some intro factoids:

• This is not to be confused with Charlie Stross’s book Iron Sunrise (no matter how much my brainmeatz tries to muddy these waters).
• As the Great Wiki informs us, it is:
  

  one of a new wave of productions, including Artemis Eternal, The Cosmonaut, A Swarm of Angels and RiP!: A Remix Manifesto, produced in collaboration with an on-line community of film enthusiasts, that are creating a new kind of participatory cinema. At Wreck-a-Movie, a collaborative film-making web site, the producers have invited everyone interested in “chipping in” with their ideas and creativity to read the tasks given to the community and to take a shot (write an entry).

• There’s a prequel comic you can start reading right now.
• The soundtrack is by LAIBACH!!!

Wow, I really buried the lede there didn’t I? Here’s a track by that seminal Slovenian industrial group that’s used in the film.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGQCUoafFI8

Okay, everyone should be awake now. Iron Sky, well, I was expecting an Aslyum Pictures production with a better budget. That is the company responsible for MegaThings vs GiantStuffz. And look, they have a Nazi movie out too.

Iron Sky is a busty genre explosion, that’d be absurdly subversive if reality wasn’t competing against it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4kfOATzPMk

Filmed in a colour-palate that recalls Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow. Funny, and that’s me watching it after having seen The Avengers, so it’s probably funnier than most things generally considered funny. The Nazis do wear grey. The CGI is spectacular. The dialog is good. Oh, and there’s holograms… apparently that’s how Skype works in 2018. Which is nice.

Extra Credit for Peta Sergeant as Vivian Wagner’s rockin’ fashion through the movie:

Overall, a solid ***

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtbuUlSGXzc

Nearly, nearly there. Next up, the hair. (Who’s afraid of a cartoon supervillian?)

It will surprise no one at this point I’m sure, but let’s say it anyway: I watched X-Men:First Class for Magneto, Alphas for Red Flag and the early seasons of Fringe for the ZFT. Oh, and the end of Chronicle was wrong. At least we have Limitless and Hanna. And Rise of the Planet of the Apes. And Take Shelter. And that’s it.

That is the trailer for The Nines. Except there’s nothing there, because the official trailer is… a tad spoilery. This is not a film you want spoilered, no.

When I sat down to watch The Nines I was expecting another over-looked spiritual/mystical indie gem, as it had been recommended to me by trusted ally Ian ‘Cat’ Vincent. He has exposed me to INK and SKELETONS, both very much worth watching.

But this film was something different, something more… Something you best experience yourself without my words in your mind. For the moment.

Recently I rewatched it, with the classic cult, mystical film The Holy Mountain, the film that welcomed me to 2012.

After that second viewing one image stuck with me:

I knew what I had to do (this sentence makes sense if you re-read after watching the film:

One more to go and my RL Avatar will match my mental self-image (again).

Its eight years old, and not as polished as I’d like (even after lightly editing it); but hey, I only seem to be able to finish micro-fiction, so… enjoy:

Saturday night. 7pm. Three joints in and I’m ready. Teles on, surrond sound cranked to the max.

It’s time for CogDisco!

The audience this week looks brave, but nervous. But who wouldn’t want to be a contestant on the globe’s biggest game show? Where the winner is the last audience member conscious.

Big John McCarthy takes the stage, massive headphones fixed to his skull. Looks to the audience.. “Are you ready?”… they scream affirmatively.
Looks to the stage, a mass of turn-tablists running sound-checks, cueing up their first track…

“Are you ready?’ he asks… they barely look up, but all nod. “Then lets get it on!!”… and Big John runs off stage.

The spot-light hits the first DJ, and he’s off… mixing a Beatles track with some Chuck Berry lyrics. Most of the audience are already standing, and start dancing in the aisles. They seem relaxed. Then DJ-1 kicks it up a notch, adding the bass line from an earthy-period Madonna song. People become frozen mid-sway.. and it’s on.. the cognitive dissonance is hammering them..

The paramedics run through, taking only those with full facial paralysis away…

About 10% have been culled. Not as good as last week, but then that was the Senior Citizens special… they thought it was a World Idol reunion episode… I’d never seen so many gray-hairs vomit on each other so fluidly!

Big John comes running in, full body tackling the DJ… the idiot’s gone over his five minute time slot. He’ll know better next week! Or not. Big John took him down pretty hard.

Spot-light shines on the next DJ. He kicks in some old-school Public Enemy with a Sting vocal overlaid. This one gets me up on my feet, as I pick up the cat and dance around the lounge.

When I wake up it’s Tuesday, I think. I’m in bed… in a white gown… in a private clinic. One kidney missing.

Bastards were monitoring my web-cam. Saw me go down. Got a nice, fresh gash on my forehead. Knew that bookcase should’ve gone in the study.

I think I’m in Africa, but I can’t be sure. Whereever it is, it’s bright. Last week it was Malayasia, and they only took a tonsil (I don’t even…).

I check my credit. It’s up 1000 dollars.

Should just get me home in time for next week’s show…

A truck pulled over, and the two men in it began to punch the living hell out of each other. We all stood there in shock, partly because we were watching dogs of all sizes amicably play together with no dispute, just the occasional outburst from the human younglings.

By the time we were unfrozen from this startling visage it was over, the passenger took off, expletives flying, and we all returned to our evening ritual.

The unmistakable conclusion?

Meanwhile, in the coming weeks I’ll be building Lady Shiva her own website. Yes, I am bizzaro Manfred, stay tuned for her eventual Uplift and global domination.

That was me, in the Age of Disco, with my dog Sport… appropriately enough, attempting to compete in a race. Some vague time after that he got out of the house and failed to defeat an automobile in single combat.

Flash-forward to time of the twentyonecent… a new challenger arrives! Meet Lady Shiva, The Destroyer of Hearts in this dynamically updating Flickr album. Its still current at the END OF TIME, doncha know:

As is THE LAW, she’s been RFID chipped, and as is THE CUSTOM, got a matching tattoo inside her ear, so that the kind and gentle folk of Animal Control know to scan her. So I thought it fair enough, since her very existence and entry into my life has revealed the power of LIFE ITSELF over the TechnoTechno Virtual, that I also mark our relationship with a tattoo (especially since, she is but The First of a long line of Cloned Shivas to accompany me through Singularity and into the Posthuman Era ((yes, she’ll get matching upgrades too, damnit)))

And in the event I chip myself, I’ll get another tattoo to match too. BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!! Paleo Amen.

Just over a year ago I did a photo shoot for Locks Gear. Turns out a few of the shots were usable. So whilst I’ll never wear the above hat again (that pix is just for you), maybe in the future I’ll do more than just take snaps of my friends’ t-shirts.